i want something new*

I want something new, not blue; not borrowed nor lent from a past no longer wanting its revisiting, its re(dis)membering, its (sadly) almost regurgitating.

I want to start, not finish.  Finish happened when you said no to a heartfelt proposal.  And when you said more recently you needed more time.  And that’s fair, and you have every right.  But I don’t need – don’t want – more time.

I want to start my life now.  Not in two years’ time.  Two years’ time would – for me – now be a tome of a lifetime. 

People remain beloved but life is finite.  Love is eternal but minutes are not.

So I choose the future, and yellow; not the blue of sad passed.

And where blue and yellow may mix in glorious green, let this happen of course.

Let this happen, by all means.

Let this happen, and pleasurably.

Let kindliness rule.

And … let we be.

* I guess, yes: clarification in order: when I choose yellow, I choose a future of the future and not the past.  I would like that yellow to include one particular person, but I don’t, can’t, mustn’t possess that person ever.  And neither must such ownership exist in return, with respect to myself.

Just felt I needed to add this.  

Wanted to, too …

A case when a want and a need do coincide.


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