celebrating*

It’s good to celebrate if you can allow yourself the luxury.  If you can’t, then life is all the poorer.  And if you have no one to celebrate with, and you feel you need to, then life becomes overwhelmingly bitter and hurt.

Today I am not bitter nor hurt.  I took a strategic decision this morning: not to take late-night walks and not to write early in the morning.  Both find me at my most miserable, and to do and create life and show this to the world at such points of vulnerable rawness is just as false as posting fake smiles on social networks.

So today, by myself, I was celebrating both this decision and my daughter’s grand achievements at A-level: the exams young people take at the age of eighteen here in England and Wales.

I couldn’t be with her, but in a way I was too.  We have both grown up as introverts: her, in full and cognisant knowledge of the needs of her being; me, a little late to the party as I often have been in my life, but arriving all the same.  Finally arriving.  

We need our own spaces; our own thinking time; our own opinions; our own belief systems; and – then – we need to create and imagine and write and draw and take photos, and imagine the world we see around us.

And this is good.

And this is what I have done today.

So I am happy, not hurt and bitter any more.

At least not today.  At least not this minute.  At least not during the writing of this blogpost.

* The photos, btw, come both from my new bridge Nikon and my trusted iPhone 5S.  Where I have processed the images, this is variously Apple’s own software, Instagram’s tools and Google’s Snapseed.  Complementary always did produce the best results in my life. 

And maybe that’s complimentary too, yer know!!!

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